A Personal Journey to Change Fear into Acceptance
I’m not sure if you are anything like me, but I get seriously anxious when I am faced with the unknown. My entire life I’ve had a one-year and a three-year-goal and plan. Covid-19 has royally screwed up all my plans and it has left me paralysed with fear and anxiety. I have become depressed and moody but woke up on Saturday and realised I cannot let this virus get the best of me. Me, and only me, can transform my fear into power, or at least acceptance, so that my family don’t bury in the back-garden before lock-down is lifted.
So, I went in search of a few interesting articles on how to transform fear into Power. These ones resonated with me. I am hoping they may help you too.
So the first snippet I read was that “Fear is one of the biggest barriers on the way to success”. This got me thinking, my old measures of success may not actually be valid or real anymore. Things have changed, times have changed and to be honest things will never be the same again. The first step I took in changing fear into power is to redefine my version of success. What I found interesting is that my old measures of success, which was very money, travel and possession driven have changed slightly. Instead of having a multi-million Dollar company, at the moment success is to have enough money to pay my salaries and bills, another measure of success is learning to grow my own food, as a self-confessed workaholic it is to live a life of balance and passion. When last did you do something you are passionate about? I am sad to say, I can’t even remember. Another important measure of success is to spend more quality time with mom. (My mom is 84 and reading of the deaths of the elderly in Italy made me realise I take her being here and alive for granted).
The second article I read was Steven Covey’s Circle of influence. Now, that truly worked for me. Basically what you do is draw two circles. One large one and a smaller one in the middle of the large one. In the smaller middle circle, you write down what you can control and in the larger one you write what you cannot control and what you should let go of. I did this exercise and each time I get stressed about an aspect I can’t control, I state loudly to myself I cannot control that.
Admittedly, my family thought I was a bit nuts. But I explained the magic behind the madness and, now, during the course of each day I hear my hubby and teen daughter’s voices throughout the house, stating loudly and categorically; “I cannot control that”. Here are a few examples of things that are in my control; I can drink vitamins to build my immune system, I can eat healthy to build my immune system, I can video chat with friends that I know are lonely during lock-down, I can apply for UIF for my staff, I can call all existing customers and try get sales, I can stay at home during lockdown to prevent the virus from entering my home, I can meditate to keep me sane, I can choose what I read, I can choose who I engage with.
Then filling the circle on things that are not in my control included; I cannot stop my loved ones from getting Corona, I cannot guarantee full salaries, I have no control over my country’s financial future. I cannot pay some of my bills, I cannot control load shedding, I cannot control people’s reactions, I cannot make people stay at home during lock-down, I cannot control our country’s financial junk status. I cannot control rude people on Social Media.
The last snippet I read was by Guru, Tony Robbins and I think it is very relevant amidst the Covid-19 Craziness. One is only to read social media to find all kinds of really bizarre conspiracy-theories, doom for the future, gloom for the present. What makes it slightly worse for me, is that I live with a true apocalypse, dooms-dayer – his “end-is-here-warnings” have left me incapable of thinking of anything but regrets for what I wish I had done but never got to do. Reading Mr. Robbins’ advice has given me the strength to rise above the fear; “Stop the negative self-talk. You keep telling yourself stories throughout the day about this fear and how it affects you. But it’s all in our mind. Let go of the need to play scenarios in your head. And you might just realize it was all an illusion”.
I would like to end off with a quote by Joel Osteen, which reads; “Fear and Faith has something in common, they both ask us to believe in something we cannot see”.
So, there you have it, the three snippets I read on the internet that have helped me change my fear to power. Do you have any more tips?
Click here to download the Steven Covey Circle of Influence Worksheet.